I'm gonna smash it up till there's nothing left (![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small} shmivejournal) wrote,@ 2007-02-16 10:42:00 |
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an e-mail exchange from yesterday
Jay:
My friend Christine read Marky Mark Wahlberg's autobiography. It was written before his movie career, which I don't think anybody saw coming in a million years, I guess to cash in on his tenuous rappin' fame. She didn't have a lot to say about the book other than the fact that it is unintentionally hilarious and there is a passage about the fact that Mark Walburg possesses a superfluous third nipple -- and I quote Christine quoting him: "bitches like to suck it"
Danielle:
"bitches like to suck it" - bullshit! i don't know if you're lying or if he was lying when he said it, but nobody says "let me suck on this third nipple, even though there are already two perfectly good nipples."
Jay:
Well, you've made me go down this road and here we are, in the road. We're in Logical Analysis of Sucking Mark Wahlberg's Supernumerary Nipple Mode. I don't think we can leave until we have this mess all sorted out. I don't want to be here any more than you do, so I will try to be expedient.
I would imagine that there are various scenarios where Marky Mark could be misled into believing that the Bitches in question enjoy his third nipple:
Marky Mark and one of his Bitches are in a hotel room. Mr. Mark takes off his shirt and does a set of hanging sit-ups on an iron bar that has been installed between two decorative closets. The Bitch waits patiently on the bed with her hands in her lap for him to finish his workout -- she doesn't really know where she stands.
Marky M. then towels off, approaches Bitch, and sits down next to her. Perhaps to show his more human side or to knock himself down a few pegs, he displays some quite possibly faux-insecurity with regard to his superfluous third nipple:
"yo, check this out [frowny FACE] :( :( :(, aight"
At this point, the Bitch proceeds to embrace said malformity as a positive attribute to win his favour. The ol' "Though I am very internationally famous and possess a Bunch that which is Funky, I am human just like you, and I display my humanity through the subtle imperfection that is my third nipple" routine. So hackneyed.
And while all this transpires, techtonic plates near a small Polynesian island shift ever so slightly, causing an earthquake that subsequently kills 113 people -- but because of their distance from the site of the catastrophe, neither of them Feel The Vibrations.
Jay:
My friend Christine read Marky Mark Wahlberg's autobiography. It was written before his movie career, which I don't think anybody saw coming in a million years, I guess to cash in on his tenuous rappin' fame. She didn't have a lot to say about the book other than the fact that it is unintentionally hilarious and there is a passage about the fact that Mark Walburg possesses a superfluous third nipple -- and I quote Christine quoting him: "bitches like to suck it"
Danielle:
"bitches like to suck it" - bullshit! i don't know if you're lying or if he was lying when he said it, but nobody says "let me suck on this third nipple, even though there are already two perfectly good nipples."
Jay:
Well, you've made me go down this road and here we are, in the road. We're in Logical Analysis of Sucking Mark Wahlberg's Supernumerary Nipple Mode. I don't think we can leave until we have this mess all sorted out. I don't want to be here any more than you do, so I will try to be expedient.
I would imagine that there are various scenarios where Marky Mark could be misled into believing that the Bitches in question enjoy his third nipple:
Marky Mark and one of his Bitches are in a hotel room. Mr. Mark takes off his shirt and does a set of hanging sit-ups on an iron bar that has been installed between two decorative closets. The Bitch waits patiently on the bed with her hands in her lap for him to finish his workout -- she doesn't really know where she stands.
Marky M. then towels off, approaches Bitch, and sits down next to her. Perhaps to show his more human side or to knock himself down a few pegs, he displays some quite possibly faux-insecurity with regard to his superfluous third nipple:
"yo, check this out [frowny FACE] :( :( :(, aight"
At this point, the Bitch proceeds to embrace said malformity as a positive attribute to win his favour. The ol' "Though I am very internationally famous and possess a Bunch that which is Funky, I am human just like you, and I display my humanity through the subtle imperfection that is my third nipple" routine. So hackneyed.
And while all this transpires, techtonic plates near a small Polynesian island shift ever so slightly, causing an earthquake that subsequently kills 113 people -- but because of their distance from the site of the catastrophe, neither of them Feel The Vibrations.
